Love and Marriage Articles

Making Minus a Plus - the Algebra of Positive Love

by Maynard Joseph Delfin

The ever-changing situations that we daily encounter are the little battles that make us better individuals. As life follows a cyclic pattern of survival and defeat so as our life stories of happiness and sadness prevail.

Living in an imperfect world, we have to accept that nirvana is not in this lifetime. Perhaps it is in another dimension of our bodies as other beliefs claim. But one element exists in our every day living, regardless of who you are, that serves as a factor for surviving life's struggles. It is through the presence of positive love in all forms. How it is defined depends on the expression of good deeds and selfless motives.

Positive love is more than a feeling. It is something immeasurable and expressed in a rational manner. The parents' unconditional love to their children is one of its forms. It may be the unselfish desire of letting go a loved-one when a relationship did not work out. Or, it may be helping other people that you don't really know that well but you feel the urge of assisting them.

Some may see positive love as working hard to support other people without anything in return. It may also be merely by being an inspiration to some friends who are losing hope or helping them to cope with a wounded past. All these forms boil down to something that is good and pleasing and has a good impact to humanity.

Loving positively comes from within. It is a product of getting rid of the negativities in our minds such as angst, irritation, impatience and jealousy. When the unworried "self" is strengthened, it results from positive thoughts and feelings and leads to a healthy lifestyle.

Several tips may in some point have been given to you about living positively and having positive thoughts. What you simply need is to reinforce them. Self-analysis or maintaining a habit of self-awareness in anything you do will help. Although most dislike being criticized, but being able to pinpoint your flaws by yourself will help you change your ways and correct possible mistakes. It is a step of improving yourself in a healthy way by identifying your weaknesses and do something about them.

Just like laughing, smiling is contagious. It is an activity that helps you transmit positive energies to the people you meet everyday. Whenever a person is in distress, looking at you with a genuine smile will help him feel a little form of relaxation triggering a glimpse of joy within him and realizing that after all life is not all bad.

Striving for excellence gives you an enthusiasm to do your best. There is nothing wrong in helping yourself to excel in what you are doing. But do everything without hurting yourself or putting others in harm. Excel in a healthy manner by doing all the means of getting noticed without bad tricks or malicious conduct.

Be a loving person by first loving yourself and understanding who you really are as a person and identifying your limits and exceptions. As you do this, you will be able to love other people. Sharing love is like giving your innermost self to others. You can not give what you do not have. What you can give is what you have.

Develop a sense of excitement in the activities you do. It is like having a zest for living. Everything is well-taken cared of and you are thankful that you are doing something. If you are happy and you give your best in what you do, you develop the drive to pursue and continue your projects by developing a positive mindset of accomplishing them with flying colors.

If you are a loving person, you like to acknowledge people and say hello to them always. Regardless of what you are feeling, there is a constant reaction of showing that the people you meet are important to you. It is also a sign of respect to say hi to them for the opportunity of meeting them today. This has a therapeutic effect of a feeling of belongingness and union by saying a simple, "Hello, it's nice to meet you today."

When we love someone or something, we value them and don't set them aside. We don't take things for granted by being complacent that they will just be there. Instead of dwelling on your problems day in and day out, it is better if you will look at your blessings more and be thankful for them. Cast away your troubles by letting people at your side feel that they are special and not left behind. Always think that they are just there if you need some help.

Whatever goodness you do to your neighbors, it will return to you a thousand-fold. This is a Christian belief related to the golden rule. Love begets love and hate is a bad emotion. Sharing with what you have is a blessing that you may not appreciate at the moment. But whenever it is time for you to ask for help, the people whom you assisted if they also have a good heart like yours will be a shoulder to lean on during difficult times.

It is foolish to say that you love a person but you find it difficult to forgive him. Grudges are a result of ill-feelings. They are natural products of hatred and revenge. Love and forgiveness are interrelated. If you love someone, you can forgive his wrongdoings. If you can forgive, it means you know how to love.

As imperfections arise in all corners of the world, and so as the availability of our disillusionments and discouragements. No one is exempted from experiencing being down and troubled at times. Positive love teaches us to support and nurture the egoistic belief of carrying the burdens of life without quitting. Motivating people and cheering them up are the ways of a positive thinker. Doing these boosts their "self" to continue life, overcome hurdles and move on. This is a double-purpose strategy of enriching yourself and empowering others.

Positive love can only be understood if you have a positive way of living. Changes in life are inevitable but with your positive mindset everything can be made from a misfortune to an experience that has a good effect in the end. Treat every battle as a stage of molding your character. They are apparent obstacles that make you a better person. Love positively through a positive framework of lifestyle.

Maynard Joseph Delfin finished AB Journalism (cum laude) at the University of Santo Tomas. He has worked as book editor, deskman, copy editor and research and publications officer in leading publishing and research companies. For comments about his articles, you can email him at delfinmj223@gmail.com

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