Maintaining a happy marriage isn't an
exact science. There's no one
method that's going to keep people together. I, myself, am not exactly
an expert. I recently celebrated my fifth wedding anniversary, though,
and I'd like to share some thoughts on marriage and successful
relationships.
For me, it can be broken down into
three simple categories:
Communication
How
many times have you heard the phrase, "Communication is key." Well,
there's a good reason for it. Communication gets things moving like
nothing else can. Solving problems always starts with communication.
In
relationships, communications can prevent problems, as well as solve
them. Talk about things, anything, really. Let the other person know
that you're willing to listen to them. I think healthy relationships
consist of strong connections between people, and communication allows
for that connection.
When problems do occur, and they
will,
communication allows for those problems to be solved. If something is
bothering you, no matter how little it is, you need to communicate
that. Otherwise it could build up and cause a problem much bigger than
it originally was.
For instance, let's take the example
of your
spouse leaving things around the house, causing a general clutter.
Let's say this bothers you. In the grand scheme of things, is it really
such a big deal? Not really, so don't hold it in until it becomes a big
deal. Let your spouse know about it in a calm way.
Compromise
First,
admit to yourself that you can't always get your way. It's selfish to
think that way. Living with someone else isn't always easy. It means
you must compromise. You're sharing living space, and you are sharing
your lives. Compromise is inevitable, and it is necessary.
I
greatly frown on the score-keeping idea. Just because you compromise
and let your partner have their way once, doesn't mean they owe you.
That negates the idea of compromise! Compromise is by definition, a
settlement of differences reached by mutual concessions.
Commitment
No
one said relationships were easy. They take a lot of work and
maintenance, but in the end, they're worth it. It takes dedication and
selflessness to nurture a relationship. If you're not ready to commit
wholly to a relationship, you're doing a disservice to your partner,
and you may end up getting hurt.
Commitment to a relationship is
much more than agreeing to see someone exclusively. It means you are
agreeing to make your partner's wellbeing just as high a priority as
your own.
Relationships aren't easy;
disagreements are
inevitable. But through communication, compromise and commitment, I
think you'll find that a healthy relationship is unlike anything else
this world has to offer.